I'm gone. Find me now at http://threewishez.tumblr.com/

I'll be waiting.

Ps: i'll miss the tagboard and all your msg... but if you have anything to say to me abt my entries on my new tumblr.. Click on the "i" button and click on the ask me anything... I want to hear from you!

i love ur blog fanny!

i'm currently contemplating a move to tumblr. (pointed out by fanny dear: it's not a waterbottle.)
its outlook seems cooler (i'm shallow that way).
i'm thinking maybe for 2011.
i shall do 50-100 word entries daily.
i still owe you my 2011 resolutions.
way overdue.

Goodybye 2010. Hello 2011.

It's been a slow holidays. I've been at times, lost, disgruntled, and perplexed. And almost all these times. SICK. It begun with one fateful night of puking by the toilet bowl. But that's not going to be the point of my first post in 2011. And on a side note, ( though I was sick all the past 12 odd days and haven't done much out of my house on this sunny island) every time I look at Tong or hold his little paw, I'm just glad I came back.

And it is with this love in my heart that somehow I think I might be grown-up enough for more love in my life.

But first to keep my three year running ritual, I'm going to review my past year resolutions and the year itself:

I wanted COURAGE, which I gathered and started a new life in a not-so foreign country with.

I wanted LOVE, while distance (from family drama) made me love my family (ALOT) more. I still couldn't help but gather my heels and run whenever any emotion borders that big L word.

I wanted TRUTH. But somehow I always felt better living with lies and believing in my own deception. So yes, other than the stuff you read from this blog (which is probably encrypted anyways) don't believe what I say.

I wanted PURPOSE. Then I realize my purpose didn't matter as long as I had a LIFE, which is a work-in-progress resolution.

Summing up 2010.

• I packed my things and went away to HK for my 3 year BA degree. I think I am going to major in Philosophy. But with me.. one can never tell..
• I graduated from LASALLE ( a.k.a HELL at some point, I doubted if I would make it out of there alive) with less than stunning grades. (Because I tended to miss exams and not submit my essays)
  
• I did a 8-day exhibition at Orchard Central. Kudos to me, I pretty much single-handedly did it. But truth be told, it had the worst possible aesthetics, loads of room for improvements and was a financial flop. Yes, that's my art mangerial debut that told me clearly to run far far away from this industry.
• I went to Taiwan with wenying and fanny. Our maiden friends-only trip together. We had fun. But it was really the quarrels that stuck in my head. Not entirely in a bad way, those were some words that had to come out from your best friends' heart that truly made the difference. I truly am WILFUL. I'm probably going to stay this way, but while it is not life-threatening. But I listened. And will try to change without losing jeanie along the way.
• I OD-ed on pills one fateful night. Bad habits die hard. This time, I went to the hospital, hand-cuffed.

Less major happennings:

• I picked up karate. While my violent tendercies really enjoyed the outlet, I clearly don't have the determination. And here's my official resignation to my eternal white belt. (FOR NOW)
• I learnt french for one semester. And when I (attempt) to speak french, you'll probably only hear mixed-up prepositions. But I'm trying.
• My 2 term papers are both approx 2-3 days late. To my greatest despair.
• I realize that I miss Tong the most when I'm away in HK.
• I bought way too many bags and clothes and honestly have budgetary issues I'm afraid to admit.
• I now have friends from many places in asia. and a pretty close korean roommate (though we do have our issues)
• I got extremely drunk this once in LFK and was a mess kissing strangers, before I was rescued by my korean roommate. And partyed quite a bit in my first term, then toned down to beer by the harbour in cool autumn air.
• I did two fortune readings (one in TW, the other in HK) and both said I had love come knocking in April/ May. Which was true. But the guy was truly worthless and I had bad taste. And in a sense, I'm glad I ran.
• Fortune says. The 2nd month this year. Love comes around again. I'm looking forward to it, but very wary and entirely helpless I admit.

And I almost forgot I turned 21 and had early celebrations with my lovelies at sentosa. And all of us went home with a burning souvenir. The actual day was a lonely one, but daddy and mummy did go to HK, days before, to shower me in extrangant meals and gifts.

That's it for 2010. I grew up alot in this year. My 2011 resolutions are still in-progress, but I have some ideas. Happy New Year!! Have a great 2011!

Love, J

Running out of steam and freezing.

借著故事中的悲劇，讓自己流淚。
但落幕了，眼眶中的濕氣卻還在。
原來，淚一直都是為自己流的。
跟別人說的話，一直也只是再重複的說服自己。
原來，我才是那個最不相信自己的人。

人離開後，天變冷了。
天氣不似預期。

Winter Hauls....

I'm supposed to be doing my prep for my ethnics paper... But I can't seem to stop myself from google-ing: "Camel Coats" or "Angora Sweaters"... or to stop running (2 steps) to my wardrobe and admiring my new winter hauls...Maybe Kahee was right when she said I'll be wearing Kiddo (the name of my NEW WHITE ANGORA THROW in the hall.... It's called kiddo, because it's like my baby lambskin I wear to cover my wolfish-ness.. but more simply, cause its high maintenance like a kid... (it sheds more than Tong does....)
Though HK don't have winter and is not even cold.... :( I'm hoping that the temps will start falling so I can wear my new coats out... Though I really swore I was going to get Cool Black coats.. I ended up with a Camel cute one, with a Little Prince cut.. Which I just realized now that I don't know how to match... and my trusty Pull and Bear leather jacket... (which i bought in sep.. but have not worn)

Anyways... my winter jacket collections!!!!!! and new bags.... (YES I SHOP WHEN I"M STRESSED) ps: the pink bucket baggie is my 21st b'day pressie from dad. (though i thought too that my lasik was supposed to be the pressie.. but who's really counting when i'm not complaining:))))

I'm getting use to watching the sun come up from my windows these days. I'm very awake and "est tres tranquil" at this time.

Everything in its time, seems like a far too ancient thing for me to say. But facing the blank state of my current life (you can pretty much figure out, how active I've been by how frequent the posts are. So since my prev post was since my first canto test and my 2nd one's upcoming next week, it's clear that Jeanie, here, have been sitting out on life once more).

Anyways, I was saying.. my blank life. is well BLANK.

But the improvement is at least I work (a little), and I'm (slowly) embracing my POOR french and hatred for group work. And gradually easing into philosophy. I found this amazing chapter in a philo writing that's titled: It's Sunday night and I have a philosophy paper due Monday morning. See philosophers can have a good sense of humor and be VERY GROUNDED in reality.

I'm digressing. But actually, I pretty much have nothing else to say. Just like I have nothing to say to all my acquaintances. I'm working on that.

I did my oracle readings last weekend. And the same cards came up. For Love: apparently I still have too much baggage to start anything. I did a pretty accurate reading for my roomie too. Well, its good to know that I'm still connected there.

PS: Hkies ARE NUTS! They're having hall fest just one week before exams and submissions... So every night now I hide in the library or pretend i'm part of the furnishings in my room. Why did I think I'll ever fit in?

J