the clock is ticking...
my red bull is flowing...
but my adrenaline has yet to kick in....

How is it possible for me to want to slack of so badly, when my 1500-2000 word report is due like tmr, 5 pm in like less than 17 hours time... (well, maybe that really sounds like alot of time)...

But i have to be in school at 9... take 9 hours off the time line... 8hours to completion.. sorry wrong term to use 8 hours to complete....

To me, to red bull, to miracles. Cheers, jeanie

the more enjoyable half of the work... planing.. not doing

Damn the deleted my post....
but anyways I'm still showing off..

Click on the pictures for full impact... While I RELIST my to-do list for today..
- Circles topic in SAT MATHS WKBK, leaving 2 topics and 2 practise tests for the week
- Print Accounting Homework
- 1500 words on Art Singapore Profile and Personal Profile

- Prepare for Venue Owner's Meeting tomorrow.
- Prepare for General Meeting (so the slackers can have a title change for once)
and hopefully a good night sleep like tong, who is now sleeping in MY corner of MY bed...

惭愧中崩溃

There something about triangles that drives me nuts.. I've spent the past 3 hours on the same freaking Triangle chapter and still managed a stats of 14/34 wrong, of which 5 are left blank. If i weren't outside in starbucks, I'll be screaming and tearing up the entire god-damm workbook.

I'm taking a breather now, before I decipher how and why the hell - my mistakes are mistakes. I try to comfort myself that slow and lousy work is better than slacking off, something which I would probably be doing if I stayed at home, instead of being here and sipping my already diluted caramel macchiato (however you spell that)

But I still did some things before the bloody triangles. like my schedules are done - FINALLY. Am proud, but it seems insignificant in comparison to the bloody triangle frustration i'm channeling now.

The butterfly effect

一隻蝴蝶在巴西扇動翅膀會在德克薩斯引起龍捲風嗎？

I'm afraid and in panic. But all that does not explain why I'm on my bed typing this entry, instead of dealing with the many lists and list of to-dos and must-dos....

The entire day went by, I must have closed my eyes. If I didn't, why don't I remember how the day was wasted?

It must be that moment of weakness, a wrong decision on friday like the flapping of the butterfly, causing a whole tornado in my life.

I'm seeking shelter and i'm fighting on...
A complete paradox and utterly self-contradictory.. once again the story of my life....

失望，有时候也是一种幸福，因为有所期待所以才会失望。

因为有爱，才会有期待，所以纵使失望，也是一种幸福，虽然这种幸福有点痛。

Theme songs for the remaining of the year.. coming..

1. 够爱 － Theme of Courage for love and for fighting for all else that matters
世界一直一直变 地球不停的转动 在你的时空
我从未退缩懦弱

2. 泪了 - Theme of leaving behind, keeping only the good stuff
有过的快乐 我都记得
回忆还旋转着 爱怎么停了 我们都累了
泪光在闪烁 而我的眼泪忍住 不敢坠落

3. 终极三国 － Theme of willful insistence and determination. I know my way now.
直到最后一刻绝不后退
泪水纷飞 也不能模糊我视线

Am very irritable. Yet, still quite happy, or maybe more correctly: centered.

I kept snapping at people at home of the late (well actually just yesterday and today), because too much time and energy spent at school, saps the hell of life out of me. Yes, being agreeable when all alarm bells are screeching at the back of your head does that to you. Hugs and sorries to the people who will probably never read this apology. But i'm sending vibrations over ... - - -

In anyways, like what i sms-ed syl: my stress is going internal and my body swings AGAIN between diarrhea and well, the other extreme end.

Though I deserve Brownie points on that.
I was sick (well quite sick, thinking back) today after lunch. But unlike some other "whom i shall not name 1", I did not leave the class with excuses or what-so-ever. I stayed till the end of the day and tolerated class IN THE SAME ROOM, WITH THE SAME PEOPLE, for a total of 6 plus plus hours.

All these while reciting, when I'm conscious of it, my mental rituals of Worthy-ness, Courage, and the infamous "I LOVE MYSELF"

I feel centered and shamelessly loving towards myself today. But, while basking in that light, I stand in complete horrification that I am named the group leader of the project, with "whom i shall not name 1,2,3" who are terribly conceited and disorganized at best, hopeless and irresponsible at worst.
Then again, if the universe decrees it to be, so shall i be. From another view, why should i insist on being 诸葛亮, when I could be 曹操?

That's quite a good thought, but I know the deadlines won't be laughing with me.. if I don't pull up all my shoelaces (not that any of my shoes have them) and run when studying for everything.

I'm now waiting for dinner, for my work to be done AND for friday. TGIGF... thank god it's going to FRIDAY... and my XXXX will be out to fuel my cause.

To Do List for the weekend:
1. Read up on Art Theory stuff (shall do so while waiting for dinner)
2. Accounting Lecture and Tutorial Qn (Catch up on missed info < - wass zzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZ)
3. Do up Project Cal and brief freaking WISNNs on their work (and learn to hound for stuff like loansharks, should consult jojo on that one)
4. Finish all MATHS concepts and at least 4 more chapters of workbk
5. Read and start on "Cambridge Grammer of English" (Very much needed)
6. Plan deadline and General work schedule
7. (Let's hope it stops here)

ps: note to self to remember 3 theme songs of the remaining year. (See next post)