I'm in a stage where I'm angry, lost and alone.

Sometimes I'll look around and listen, screaming in my head with angst and frustration at everyone speaking, looking or just being around me.

There is sometime wrong. With me, with life, like vague nagging white sound in the background. I cannot name it. But recently I've been trying to choose confrontation over avoidance and search for answers.

Yet, I think that I'm not ready for the them. I cannot I love myself at this point. Special isn't an acceptable adjective. I am a childish, idealistic, delusional, immature child who believes she fools the world, by blinding her eyes to the truth.

The truth.