In Documentation of something.

Today at 8.45 am
I came around. Just physically, not quite consciously. So I fell backwards into the comforting arms of my baby blue sheets and bed. Stained with marks and fur all over. But I slept well. and snuggled.

Today at 9.04am
Rude awakening from the snoozed alarm. I could not put this off further. So I swung my mentally-heavy legs over the side of the bed I love. Human time in all the wash up and get ready business. But I heard my voice in my head. Speaking of responsibilities and reminding of regrets. I couldn't switch it off, even with the distraction of foundation cotton, powder puff, through rubbing of rouge and eyeliner. It was distracting, I did a mess of my make-up, but left for company.

Today at 9.47am
In the car, comforted by the radio blabbers. Looking at the digital clock, with an aching reminder of my fortune that somehow even never seemed enough to me. My lack of perspective, and I feared that I would be in class early. Panicked, as I wasn't ready to talk, for conversation and to see the other. I place a smile on my face, waved goodbye and left the car for the huge black building that hovered over my existence.

Today at 9.53am
Definitely early. I strode on with the vacant smile on my face. I continued my mental exchange with the voice, arguing about the past, present and future boundaries. We disagree about the ways of living on, with or without the truth interfering. I past a van, with 2 men looking on. And went hiding in the toilet. The lights switched on, by sensor sensing my entrance. Alone, I looked into the mirror, fussing over my hair and appearance. Unsuccessfully forgetting the reason of hiding.

Today at 9.57am
I couldn't justify crying, so I left my hideout and went to class. I entered the class, and saw only 4 students, murmured a greeting and settled for my comfort zone, habitually telling convenient lies that people enjoy listening, though it told them nothing. My seating in the right end from the door, I could safely look on to what my heart wishes to see, and crouch into my unwelcoming position and remember to put on my "do not disturb" sign.

Today at 10.05am
I woke up fully to class and secured my mask in place for lesson and answering questions. No longer sure if the air I breathed in was supplied to my disappearing self. But the play has started, the music played, and I was in character, dancing in my motionless stance to the script - ignoring others like I should in the back drop.