Pre- 1st day at U.

Terrorism: the state of fear and submission produced by terrorism or terrorization.

And that has been the very depiction of my days. Iphone terrorism.

Terrorism to be described in terms of fear, should be directly related to hope. A transition of the hopeful to the hopeless, till ultimately the resistance to hope.

Over the past 2 days, my iphone have alternated between consciousness and comatose. Every time it comes around, when I click around the screen, when I put the ear piece on and the music fortify me against the crowd. I am filled with a sense of relieve, peace and security.

Then all comes crashing when the apple screen of death resurfaces. That happened like more than 20 times. Including the one time after my 2 hour wait at Causeway Bay for my iphone servicing.

The apple "genius"-es than told me that the fault was on the SIM card, which apparently survived the previous bag flood, but is faulty, causing the iphone to self-destruct. That possibility brought me the Three3 (a hongkie version of Singtel) for a 45 mins wait. So I now have a new SIM, a new phone plan, (but no network, the activiation takes 24 hours because they need to verify my visa. In case, I am a illegal immigrant, dumb enough to get a data plan).

Later back at the Apple Store, the people gave me a replacement for my previous replacement. Because I do think they, too, are not entirely convinced that the iphone replacement(the 1st one) was faultless.

The phone hasn't died. YET. But, I'm now so afraid of bearing the hope that it will survive. That trust I used to have in APPLE and my iPhone somehow dissipated the same way the americans lost faith in their position in the Iraq war.

And back on the impending state of my first university day. I have just 1 lesson tomorrow. Though I'll be sitting for a Global Ethics Class to check out if I should switch classes. So 4 hours in total. Starting from a very civillised hour at 3pm. Though I have to get to Central to get my French course books for Thursday.

The trauma and exhaustion (it took me 1.5 hours to get back to hall tonight in the jam, it usually takes 15 mins on the same route) have sucked my anxiety and almost all of the excitement from my being. But I still carry in my heart, this tiny torch of bliss and courage that is seemingly keeping me awake.



And though the coming workload, hall activities, social pressure will erode my spirit and eventually i might lose my sense of purpose and become like the massacred statue I see everyday on my way to campus.

Nothing. Not even pesky leeches from the past that stick around in the present AND fatefully are arranged into the same compulsory class AND eagerly takes the same french modules like I do (most of you should know this one), will extinguish this flame.

PS: I'm reading Voltaire's Satire on Optimism now. And like Voltaire, I do not agree with optimism, merely a believer of creation and purpose.