Just when I think, I've got you in safe keeping
That’s when your memory, it comes round creepin'
Well it's an ache I can't shake
It's creeped down deep down to my core
But babe I can't fake it, I can't take this heartbreak
Anymore….
Well you could wash my bain
You could tear out my heart
But I would never forget you
You could change my name
I could make a new start
But I would never forget you
And it's Kill… Kill.. Killin' me
It's Kill… Kill…. Killin' me
That I'm still in love with you
I asked you please to leave my heart
But you refused to go
I can't take this pain much longer
You insist on teaching me what I already know
Absence made this heart grow fonder
January 2, 2009
January 1, 2009
All set in stone.
Thoughts if not set into actions will not change the future or anything at all. So every time change your mind, it's still pretty okay IF it stays just exactly where it is: IN YOUR MIND.
But every action on the other hand would set into motion a BILLION other continuous happenings which ultimately in collectively terming would be what we named to be OUR FUTURE. (think butterfly effect)
But it's really hard to keep the thoughts just IN OUR HEADS, so there comes what would be the self-fulfilling prophecy (I'm now-where near a Psycho. student, so DON'T take this as an academic definition k!)
All these just to justify my new year resolutions for the next year, 2009. This year, I'm avoiding horoscope predictions, Almanac or any form of divination of my year's fortune. Instead of praying for hope, luck, and great happenings, I'll rather not risk changing my mind into a messed-up fate book.
Setting in stone will be MY OWN hopes and resolutions - RESOLUTE SOLUTIONS. I'm starting this time with optimism(though I still have a twenny-weeny part that wishes me less optimistic) and most of all for the first time in since I turn a teen, feeling my actual age. I'm going to have a 19th year old (not too soon 20) 2009. (I suppose last year's resolution suceeded in removing the 10 year older mentality)
I'm not going to intentionally thrive to make mistakes, but to let my youth work that part out. To take chances and give myself chances. More so after my scary attempt at Freakish makeup for the countdown party last night, OMG! I and WY, Syl, Fanny was over make-uped, but I didn't mentally beat myself up (Which is totally un-me) at all (Well maybe for 3 mins). I was also awkward and out of conversation at ALOT of times, but yet I managed to enjoy it without OVERTHINKING and OVER ANALYZING every thing.
Beautiful is youth, strange that I'm only feeling this now. I'm going to let myself enjoy it, and maybe at some point I'll stop freaking at the concept of friends - and learn to love more than myself. But for now, I'm satisfied.
Revealing my Family set of New Year Resolutions of 2009 (I actually have 2 sets: another with Syl, WY and Fanny)
STAR Family Resolutions:
- Every 2 months have a family meal outside of home.
- Maintain having Saturday dinners with Aunt Sandra: min 75% attendance rate AND have 2 min. extended family meals.
- Keep Tempers in check toward Family, ESP towards Dad and Mum. At most be grouchy and grumpy NO MORE!
---------------------------------------------------
1. Academic: All Modules (Avg of all components) be minimum Class 1
Should not be hard, really... If I actually gave 3-5 weeks in advance to prepare for all Reports, Essays, Projects. Besides, this is a sell your soul to devil deal. Do or Die.
2. PERSON-ality: To be more responsibly responsive:
Keep Phone Close: Reply msgs within 2 hours of receipt and Answer phone when called.
This one for me and my friends. I know a couple of people who would like me to pick up the phone and reply sms-es, for a change. Part of the initiative to break out of the vicious cycle that alienates me. Step 1: Fixing my phone at the service center.
3. SOCIAL Life: Every 2 weeks, to hang out with Friends once.
I'll work on this. Apparently, it's lacking in my New Year Resolutions's all rounded-ness. I couldn't convince Jas and Jo to change this one to a Yes-day of the week. Because, it will be really dangerous for me to be at Little India saying YES to all requests. Thriving after all, I'm planning a sleep-over or Dinner at NTU next week.
4. Enrichment: Visit Art Exhibitions (min. 2) and Performance of any form (min. 1) - OR in any combination totaling to min. 3 per month.
This ones' a discipline issue. I was supposed to catch Snow White, All the Biennale exhibits, Some school production, etc this hols. NONE DONE. Self-explanatory right?
5. Finances: New Savings of $1750, consisting of Prudential Savings and POSB Savings
I definitely need to work out a finance budget for this one. GOD! For allocating Splurge-able and Un-splurge-ables. And note to self: Call Sina for Pru-savings.
6. Interest: Complete 1 year-long of French Studies for the Exams
This one has been there un-officially for about 7 years, about time to make it official and into action. I don't have many 7 years you know.
7. PERSON-ality: Don’t make empty promises
Keep to my word, when given to ANY third party.
Success Indicator: Broken promises count: less or equals to 5
Uncontested. This is the most difficult resolution in all 10. I figured telling lies in place of truth, is an inherent armor, I still cannot remove YET(it's like the iron man's mask welded painfully onto my skin). But, the least I could do is a conscious effort to make myself responsible for every word I say. TRY jeanie. TRY hard.
8. Tong Tong: Train TT till no longer picks food or items off the floor.
Success Indicator: NO accidents of this nature, which sends him to the vet, AND After June: incidents must be less than 10 times
Read yesterday's entry. Tong Tong ended his 2008 with a BANG. OMG!
9. Health and Lifestyle: Sports and Exercise totally to min 2.5 Hrs per week (NOT to be carried over or averaged)
Well. Could be translated to spending more time with TT, though I really should thrive to wake up early to bring him for his walks. Will be sleeping on that thought.
10. EARTHLING: Be more Eco-friendly
Recycle and Sell/ Give away unwanted/usable items every 2 months, and use when reasonable MY ECO-FRIENDLY shopping bag.
According to many, this one is very question mark. To me however, it's well an identity. Like Vegan, Drug Dealer, ECO-ist, etc. The last one, is definitely the easiest for now. Plus maybe I should include not buying new cosmetics, stationary, creams, etc until the previous one is DEPLETED. ^.-
Over with the new resolutions, my room is still unpacked (with a new battle mess in on the dressing table after today's makeup session). But I did enter my next ENTIRE semester timetable into my iCal and Ipod touch - while I was waiting in vain for 2pm for my treatment appointment, which was cancelled without my knowledge (don't even get me started on this).
To Do List:
1. Input New Year Resolutions in to Ipod touch
2. Fix phone
3. Clear Room
4. Settle Tuition Fee
5. Do up Financial Budgeting
6. Call Sina regarding savings plan.
Ending my 1st '09 entry. Happy New Year to those readings. Remember to seize your life like what I'm trying to do. LIVE IT WELL, LIFE'S NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL.
Sometime soon, jeanie.
Thoughts if not set into actions will not change the future or anything at all. So every time change your mind, it's still pretty okay IF it stays just exactly where it is: IN YOUR MIND.
But every action on the other hand would set into motion a BILLION other continuous happenings which ultimately in collectively terming would be what we named to be OUR FUTURE. (think butterfly effect)
But it's really hard to keep the thoughts just IN OUR HEADS, so there comes what would be the self-fulfilling prophecy (I'm now-where near a Psycho. student, so DON'T take this as an academic definition k!)
All these just to justify my new year resolutions for the next year, 2009. This year, I'm avoiding horoscope predictions, Almanac or any form of divination of my year's fortune. Instead of praying for hope, luck, and great happenings, I'll rather not risk changing my mind into a messed-up fate book.
Setting in stone will be MY OWN hopes and resolutions - RESOLUTE SOLUTIONS. I'm starting this time with optimism(though I still have a twenny-weeny part that wishes me less optimistic) and most of all for the first time in since I turn a teen, feeling my actual age. I'm going to have a 19th year old (not too soon 20) 2009. (I suppose last year's resolution suceeded in removing the 10 year older mentality)
I'm not going to intentionally thrive to make mistakes, but to let my youth work that part out. To take chances and give myself chances. More so after my scary attempt at Freakish makeup for the countdown party last night, OMG! I and WY, Syl, Fanny was over make-uped, but I didn't mentally beat myself up (Which is totally un-me) at all (Well maybe for 3 mins). I was also awkward and out of conversation at ALOT of times, but yet I managed to enjoy it without OVERTHINKING and OVER ANALYZING every thing.
Beautiful is youth, strange that I'm only feeling this now. I'm going to let myself enjoy it, and maybe at some point I'll stop freaking at the concept of friends - and learn to love more than myself. But for now, I'm satisfied.
Revealing my Family set of New Year Resolutions of 2009 (I actually have 2 sets: another with Syl, WY and Fanny)
STAR Family Resolutions:
- Every 2 months have a family meal outside of home.
- Maintain having Saturday dinners with Aunt Sandra: min 75% attendance rate AND have 2 min. extended family meals.
- Keep Tempers in check toward Family, ESP towards Dad and Mum. At most be grouchy and grumpy NO MORE!
---------------------------------------------------
1. Academic: All Modules (Avg of all components) be minimum Class 1
Should not be hard, really... If I actually gave 3-5 weeks in advance to prepare for all Reports, Essays, Projects. Besides, this is a sell your soul to devil deal. Do or Die.
2. PERSON-ality: To be more responsibly responsive:
Keep Phone Close: Reply msgs within 2 hours of receipt and Answer phone when called.
This one for me and my friends. I know a couple of people who would like me to pick up the phone and reply sms-es, for a change. Part of the initiative to break out of the vicious cycle that alienates me. Step 1: Fixing my phone at the service center.
3. SOCIAL Life: Every 2 weeks, to hang out with Friends once.
I'll work on this. Apparently, it's lacking in my New Year Resolutions's all rounded-ness. I couldn't convince Jas and Jo to change this one to a Yes-day of the week. Because, it will be really dangerous for me to be at Little India saying YES to all requests. Thriving after all, I'm planning a sleep-over or Dinner at NTU next week.
4. Enrichment: Visit Art Exhibitions (min. 2) and Performance of any form (min. 1) - OR in any combination totaling to min. 3 per month.
This ones' a discipline issue. I was supposed to catch Snow White, All the Biennale exhibits, Some school production, etc this hols. NONE DONE. Self-explanatory right?
5. Finances: New Savings of $1750, consisting of Prudential Savings and POSB Savings
I definitely need to work out a finance budget for this one. GOD! For allocating Splurge-able and Un-splurge-ables. And note to self: Call Sina for Pru-savings.
6. Interest: Complete 1 year-long of French Studies for the Exams
This one has been there un-officially for about 7 years, about time to make it official and into action. I don't have many 7 years you know.
7. PERSON-ality: Don’t make empty promises
Keep to my word, when given to ANY third party.
Success Indicator: Broken promises count: less or equals to 5
Uncontested. This is the most difficult resolution in all 10. I figured telling lies in place of truth, is an inherent armor, I still cannot remove YET(it's like the iron man's mask welded painfully onto my skin). But, the least I could do is a conscious effort to make myself responsible for every word I say. TRY jeanie. TRY hard.
8. Tong Tong: Train TT till no longer picks food or items off the floor.
Success Indicator: NO accidents of this nature, which sends him to the vet, AND After June: incidents must be less than 10 times
Read yesterday's entry. Tong Tong ended his 2008 with a BANG. OMG!
9. Health and Lifestyle: Sports and Exercise totally to min 2.5 Hrs per week (NOT to be carried over or averaged)
Well. Could be translated to spending more time with TT, though I really should thrive to wake up early to bring him for his walks. Will be sleeping on that thought.
10. EARTHLING: Be more Eco-friendly
Recycle and Sell/ Give away unwanted/usable items every 2 months, and use when reasonable MY ECO-FRIENDLY shopping bag.
According to many, this one is very question mark. To me however, it's well an identity. Like Vegan, Drug Dealer, ECO-ist, etc. The last one, is definitely the easiest for now. Plus maybe I should include not buying new cosmetics, stationary, creams, etc until the previous one is DEPLETED. ^.-
Over with the new resolutions, my room is still unpacked (with a new battle mess in on the dressing table after today's makeup session). But I did enter my next ENTIRE semester timetable into my iCal and Ipod touch - while I was waiting in vain for 2pm for my treatment appointment, which was cancelled without my knowledge (don't even get me started on this).
To Do List:
1. Input New Year Resolutions in to Ipod touch
2. Fix phone
3. Clear Room
4. Settle Tuition Fee
5. Do up Financial Budgeting
6. Call Sina regarding savings plan.
Ending my 1st '09 entry. Happy New Year to those readings. Remember to seize your life like what I'm trying to do. LIVE IT WELL, LIFE'S NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL.
Sometime soon, jeanie.
Songs on my current playlist: 2009.. Snowflakes, by White Apple Tree
Feeling like I know the words
Of a song I have not wrote
A song of Love, A song of Hope
A song that guides me down this road
A snowflake falls unto my cheek
As I wake up from a distant sleep
I stand up dazed as I look around
What is this place that I have found?
Feeling like I know the words
Of a song I have not wrote
A song of Love, A song of Hope
A song that guides me down this road
A snowflake falls unto my cheek
As I wake up from a distant sleep
I stand up dazed as I look around
What is this place that I have found?
December 31, 2008
I quote from yesterday: "
Alot to sleep on tonight.
1. When-ever I'm going to get to cleaning my room?
2. Finalizing my resolutions: maybe I shall have a Yes-day?
3. Yes or No to life. That seemingly ridiculous count-down party on YiXian's place?
4. My finance budgeting for 2009, I splurged too much on soap of the late, clearly....
5. my mobile phone????
6. College tuition fee.ee.e "
From point 1 to 6: nothing(except 3) resolved! And nope no progress what-so-ever with "living the truth", and would to add that I just.. about a month ago realized that I spent my entire holidays without lifting a single brain cell to think about my Conservation project due SOON enough next sem. So much for salvaging my grades.
I would love to drone on about my day which kick off with dearest Mummy waking me from the weirdest dream in a while --- Vanessa eloping with some guy... To me, poking my eyes out with eyeliner I would love to throw out, if I didn't remember that it cost A BOMB and occasionally does looks really good on me. All dimmed when it KILLS my contact lenses.
Then to my afternoon at the ancient civilization museum, as promised yesterday. Which was usually surprisingly pleasant with good conversations, and this time I avoided the lies, and untruth to the best of my abilities. Well, maybe except the fact that I already SEEN the exhibition of "Neither East nor West" with Kat, 1 month ago. (I told them I didn't) But I did try.
But, no details will be added unlike promise. Of course I will have to break promises like my usual style. This time, though for a good reason, considering the drama which follows my day.
On my way home: I overslept, not on slumber, but on the complete enjoyment of the alienation provided by my over blasting ipod and fantastic playlist and comfy MRT chair. From Raffles Place to Dhoby to HarborFront to SengKang then FINALLY home and horrors.
I came home to the news of my dog, love of my life, reason for living, being sent to the vet on emergency call --- becoz HE ATE CHOCOLATE. AN ENTIRE BAR!
Imagine that. If only I had not dallied on the MRT. GOD! I can't explain the feeling of fear not knowing or being there, yet understanding that he should be well logically. But, yet fearing the worst. It's definitely irrational. It, of course suddenly dawned upon me that Tong does NOT need tricks training like I prev planned, he needs the most BASIC training - obedience. MY GOD! (and I don't even have a religion.) MY GOD! Imagine my horror!
He survived. though I'm not taking it for granted, not un-glad just scared after the whole prep talk from the Vet. SCARED TO HELL!
Dinner at nearly nine following I went to the Doc's for myself and with mum(some ulcer for too many TVB drama nights). I went for my ears, which hears weirdly and blocked-ly - and yes it gives me a slight headache. And also to make an appt for my eye check up with some optic- specialist or whatever they are called. I'm certainly sure I don't want to turn blind(knowing that Tong will NEVER, in my life or his, become a suitable blind man dog), or having issues with doing research readings next sem which starts in 5 days. So that's an appointment I'm bent on keeping
And then come home to find my handphone missing (then found in the backseat of the car), MY GOD! Speak of drama, I think it has certainly left the DVD player and entered my life, though I really hope it is merely passing and is leaving with the ending year of 2008.
Ooohh... sighs. But all of today, mostly the lost phone part, has given me a epiphany. Which is a sudden long-lost recollection of my own used-to-be moral opposition to changing phone within the 2 year contract period.(Though I have certainly lost most of my moral oppositions like my former refusal to buy expensive soap - overthrown by my recent LUSH purchases, etc). But, in this case, I shall stick to the former and not change the phone(partially because the ones I want are out of stock, of course) and sent it to the service center instead. I make myself proud.
Yet, above all the many real-life dramas and many nitty-gritty things I SHOULD do before the next year, I find myself humoring myself with make-up ideas for tomorrow's costume countdown party, and worrying about my lack of intelligence because of Sylvia's greatly amusing and painfully truthful link: http://ramblingsandrandomness.blogspot.com/2008/09/twilight-spoof-or-two.html . (Please read it, it's really funny). I now really feel worried for my own disintegrating brain cells, and for my mental age. OH Dear...
And to top it off for terrible youthfulness, I actually spent my day(meaning before sun set, i.e. before TongTong's unintentional suicide attempt with Chocolates and reading the link) contemplating re-visiting the books. GOD! I think I actually will do that. I conclude with this entries that I have SCREWED priorities.
Strangely though, I feel like my age for the first time in quite a while.
Till tomorrow then, which will probably be the new year. For updates and hopefully scary pics from the party and new year resolutions.
PS: my mac has 12 mins of portable battery left. Ending with an early HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Sometime next year, jeanie
Alot to sleep on tonight.
1. When-ever I'm going to get to cleaning my room?
2. Finalizing my resolutions: maybe I shall have a Yes-day?
3. Yes or No to life. That seemingly ridiculous count-down party on YiXian's place?
4. My finance budgeting for 2009, I splurged too much on soap of the late, clearly....
5. my mobile phone????
6. College tuition fee.ee.e "
From point 1 to 6: nothing(except 3) resolved! And nope no progress what-so-ever with "living the truth", and would to add that I just.. about a month ago realized that I spent my entire holidays without lifting a single brain cell to think about my Conservation project due SOON enough next sem. So much for salvaging my grades.
I would love to drone on about my day which kick off with dearest Mummy waking me from the weirdest dream in a while --- Vanessa eloping with some guy... To me, poking my eyes out with eyeliner I would love to throw out, if I didn't remember that it cost A BOMB and occasionally does looks really good on me. All dimmed when it KILLS my contact lenses.
Then to my afternoon at the ancient civilization museum, as promised yesterday. Which was usually surprisingly pleasant with good conversations, and this time I avoided the lies, and untruth to the best of my abilities. Well, maybe except the fact that I already SEEN the exhibition of "Neither East nor West" with Kat, 1 month ago. (I told them I didn't) But I did try.
But, no details will be added unlike promise. Of course I will have to break promises like my usual style. This time, though for a good reason, considering the drama which follows my day.
On my way home: I overslept, not on slumber, but on the complete enjoyment of the alienation provided by my over blasting ipod and fantastic playlist and comfy MRT chair. From Raffles Place to Dhoby to HarborFront to SengKang then FINALLY home and horrors.
I came home to the news of my dog, love of my life, reason for living, being sent to the vet on emergency call --- becoz HE ATE CHOCOLATE. AN ENTIRE BAR!
Imagine that. If only I had not dallied on the MRT. GOD! I can't explain the feeling of fear not knowing or being there, yet understanding that he should be well logically. But, yet fearing the worst. It's definitely irrational. It, of course suddenly dawned upon me that Tong does NOT need tricks training like I prev planned, he needs the most BASIC training - obedience. MY GOD! (and I don't even have a religion.) MY GOD! Imagine my horror!
He survived. though I'm not taking it for granted, not un-glad just scared after the whole prep talk from the Vet. SCARED TO HELL!
Dinner at nearly nine following I went to the Doc's for myself and with mum(some ulcer for too many TVB drama nights). I went for my ears, which hears weirdly and blocked-ly - and yes it gives me a slight headache. And also to make an appt for my eye check up with some optic- specialist or whatever they are called. I'm certainly sure I don't want to turn blind(knowing that Tong will NEVER, in my life or his, become a suitable blind man dog), or having issues with doing research readings next sem which starts in 5 days. So that's an appointment I'm bent on keeping
And then come home to find my handphone missing (then found in the backseat of the car), MY GOD! Speak of drama, I think it has certainly left the DVD player and entered my life, though I really hope it is merely passing and is leaving with the ending year of 2008.
Ooohh... sighs. But all of today, mostly the lost phone part, has given me a epiphany. Which is a sudden long-lost recollection of my own used-to-be moral opposition to changing phone within the 2 year contract period.(Though I have certainly lost most of my moral oppositions like my former refusal to buy expensive soap - overthrown by my recent LUSH purchases, etc). But, in this case, I shall stick to the former and not change the phone(partially because the ones I want are out of stock, of course) and sent it to the service center instead. I make myself proud.
Yet, above all the many real-life dramas and many nitty-gritty things I SHOULD do before the next year, I find myself humoring myself with make-up ideas for tomorrow's costume countdown party, and worrying about my lack of intelligence because of Sylvia's greatly amusing and painfully truthful link: http://ramblingsandrandomness.blogspot.com/2008/09/twilight-spoof-or-two.html . (Please read it, it's really funny). I now really feel worried for my own disintegrating brain cells, and for my mental age. OH Dear...
And to top it off for terrible youthfulness, I actually spent my day(meaning before sun set, i.e. before TongTong's unintentional suicide attempt with Chocolates and reading the link) contemplating re-visiting the books. GOD! I think I actually will do that. I conclude with this entries that I have SCREWED priorities.
Strangely though, I feel like my age for the first time in quite a while.
Till tomorrow then, which will probably be the new year. For updates and hopefully scary pics from the party and new year resolutions.
PS: my mac has 12 mins of portable battery left. Ending with an early HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Sometime next year, jeanie
On my itunes playlist: "Lies", the Pierces
I've got a real one for you
I'm done with compromise
Lies are wide and black and blue
They hide inside those big brown eyes
You've gotten dirty, angel
Aren't you ready to come clean?
I am looking down with sorrow
You say that I'm being mean….
Don't you hear me when I say I'm lonely?
Do I kid myself to think that I.. I.. I…
Am your one and only?
Cross your heart and hope to die
White or black it's still a lie
Every city that you fly
I sit home and wonder why
While you're out there getting high
One more night for me to cry
Can you look me in the eye?
Cross your heart and hope to die
I've got a real one for you
I'm done with compromise
Lies are wide and black and blue
They hide inside those big brown eyes
You've gotten dirty, angel
Aren't you ready to come clean?
I am looking down with sorrow
You say that I'm being mean….
Don't you hear me when I say I'm lonely?
Do I kid myself to think that I.. I.. I…
Am your one and only?
Cross your heart and hope to die
White or black it's still a lie
Every city that you fly
I sit home and wonder why
While you're out there getting high
One more night for me to cry
Can you look me in the eye?
Cross your heart and hope to die
December 30, 2008
Narrative writing has always been my poorest writing in English class. I dunno which part of me is malfunctioning, but my brain simply have problems chronological documentation.
I subject that to my being TOO random.. Entirely too random. and maybe a strap overly emotional.
In any case, as Jasmine so kindly reminded me: I have not blogged in nearly a week. I believe my overactive sub-conscious have formed some kind of bad mental association to this cathartic process - which is definitely the reason why I have been procrastinating blogging like I refused to write my thesis on Chirico last semester. And quite powerfully you know, my life in the absence of documentation of thoughts and actions melted again into another veil of blur...
There. You have it. I'm writing another synopsis of my life, instead of a narrative journal.
I will keep trying you see, to give you a proper journal of my reality in life - to the best of my abilities.
The past days from eve of Christmas eve to well post boxing day have been so eventful. I am so certain it will drone on for pages. Thus, my regret for not keeping it here for your perusal and for your leisure reading. I'm trying to do a content page, just purely for keepsake purposes.
23th Dec: into twilight: 3rd book - Eclipse. Imagine me, reading and reading into dawn. Cursing at Bella's indiscretion with only TongTong not listening.
24th Dec: Xmas Eve, Great dinner. IC spotchecks for wine drinking. (Though I really can't imagine why anyone would think I'm 15, even I don't look that young). And 3 or issit 4 Sapphire Tonic on the rocks, post dinner at clarke quay... Talks and murmurs, I really shouldn't enjoy drinking this much. But, I really do - on a weird level. It's dangerous though, the mood I get into after drinks. You know, I could really get myself into a deep deep pool of s*** if I completely let myself go that night... (Though I should be almost drunk)Post-drinks: More reading twilight: 4th Book: Breaking into Dawn.
25th Christmas DeC: A complete blur. Too many people kills my frequency I think. No reception except for more reading at 2am: Still Breaking into Dawn. And I think, very irrationally, finishing the series, killed some part of me. Almost like ending a relationship. I form strange emotional attachment to non-living things. MAke that non-human things. Yet, I have the worst problems forming any form of emotional attachment to human. ("sigh")
26th Dec: TVB Drama marathon. Not a great drama though, or maybe I'm already overly tuned to the English side. MY GOD!! that can't be good news!!
27th Dec: More Drama on the DVD player...
28Th Dec: as before.... maybe by this time, we're on the 2nd drama serial. I don't know for sure -.-"
29th DEc: Finally, a "the end" on portable dramas on dvds. You cannot imagine my relief to return to my itunes playlist. Only to be interrupted at ungodly 12pm to wake up. Warning to all, please don't do that again, I might kick or punch the offender for god sake!!! Movie Marathon - technically yesterday.
-
-
-
-
Oh... damn it.. I'm really turning this to a report. The magic's lost. I hate to think that I'm just emptying my brain of words while punching my addictively-nice keyboard. ]It only means I've got to stop. Alot to sleep on tonight.
1. When-ever I'm going to get to cleaning my room?
2. Finalizing my resolutions: maybe I shall have a Yes-day?
3. Yes or No to life. That seemingly ridiculous count-down party on YiXian's place?
4. My finance budgeting for 2009, I splurged too much on soap of the late, clearly....
5. my mobile phone????
6. College tuition fee.ee.e
AHHHHHHH.... most of which most be decided upon in 1 day. Oh dear! It seems I must really be careful of what I wish for the new year seemed to crept up on me suddenly. Still, I want school to start. EVEN with the dreadful 5 day timetable.
AND no more putting off the living the truth book. I shall finish it before I get back to college. Some things I need to put behind, no matter how painful. Some things I need to see through.. like my meeting with M and Y tomorrow... You'll read about that, soon. It's a promise(though I better watch my promises to keep them) I'll be reading till then....
Sometime soon, jeanie
I subject that to my being TOO random.. Entirely too random. and maybe a strap overly emotional.
In any case, as Jasmine so kindly reminded me: I have not blogged in nearly a week. I believe my overactive sub-conscious have formed some kind of bad mental association to this cathartic process - which is definitely the reason why I have been procrastinating blogging like I refused to write my thesis on Chirico last semester. And quite powerfully you know, my life in the absence of documentation of thoughts and actions melted again into another veil of blur...
There. You have it. I'm writing another synopsis of my life, instead of a narrative journal.
I will keep trying you see, to give you a proper journal of my reality in life - to the best of my abilities.
The past days from eve of Christmas eve to well post boxing day have been so eventful. I am so certain it will drone on for pages. Thus, my regret for not keeping it here for your perusal and for your leisure reading. I'm trying to do a content page, just purely for keepsake purposes.
23th Dec: into twilight: 3rd book - Eclipse. Imagine me, reading and reading into dawn. Cursing at Bella's indiscretion with only TongTong not listening.
24th Dec: Xmas Eve, Great dinner. IC spotchecks for wine drinking. (Though I really can't imagine why anyone would think I'm 15, even I don't look that young). And 3 or issit 4 Sapphire Tonic on the rocks, post dinner at clarke quay... Talks and murmurs, I really shouldn't enjoy drinking this much. But, I really do - on a weird level. It's dangerous though, the mood I get into after drinks. You know, I could really get myself into a deep deep pool of s*** if I completely let myself go that night... (Though I should be almost drunk)Post-drinks: More reading twilight: 4th Book: Breaking into Dawn.
25th Christmas DeC: A complete blur. Too many people kills my frequency I think. No reception except for more reading at 2am: Still Breaking into Dawn. And I think, very irrationally, finishing the series, killed some part of me. Almost like ending a relationship. I form strange emotional attachment to non-living things. MAke that non-human things. Yet, I have the worst problems forming any form of emotional attachment to human. ("sigh")
26th Dec: TVB Drama marathon. Not a great drama though, or maybe I'm already overly tuned to the English side. MY GOD!! that can't be good news!!
27th Dec: More Drama on the DVD player...
28Th Dec: as before.... maybe by this time, we're on the 2nd drama serial. I don't know for sure -.-"
29th DEc: Finally, a "the end" on portable dramas on dvds. You cannot imagine my relief to return to my itunes playlist. Only to be interrupted at ungodly 12pm to wake up. Warning to all, please don't do that again, I might kick or punch the offender for god sake!!! Movie Marathon - technically yesterday.
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Oh... damn it.. I'm really turning this to a report. The magic's lost. I hate to think that I'm just emptying my brain of words while punching my addictively-nice keyboard. ]It only means I've got to stop. Alot to sleep on tonight.
1. When-ever I'm going to get to cleaning my room?
2. Finalizing my resolutions: maybe I shall have a Yes-day?
3. Yes or No to life. That seemingly ridiculous count-down party on YiXian's place?
4. My finance budgeting for 2009, I splurged too much on soap of the late, clearly....
5. my mobile phone????
6. College tuition fee.ee.e
AHHHHHHH.... most of which most be decided upon in 1 day. Oh dear! It seems I must really be careful of what I wish for the new year seemed to crept up on me suddenly. Still, I want school to start. EVEN with the dreadful 5 day timetable.
AND no more putting off the living the truth book. I shall finish it before I get back to college. Some things I need to put behind, no matter how painful. Some things I need to see through.. like my meeting with M and Y tomorrow... You'll read about that, soon. It's a promise(though I better watch my promises to keep them) I'll be reading till then....
Sometime soon, jeanie
Song on my playlist: Ruin, The Pierces
This, is the end of us
You will never hear my voice again
You, are ridiculous
With your imaginary friends
All that I want
Is for you to come to ruin
All that I want
Is for you to come to ruin
Ohh, All that I want
Is for you to come crawling back
This, is the end of us
And everything you said we'd be
And, all the love I bring
I will be taking home with you
I do not want
For you to be happy
I do not want
For you to be happy
All that I want
Is for you to come crawling back
This, is the end of us
You will never hear my voice again
You, are ridiculous
With your imaginary friends
All that I want
Is for you to come to ruin
All that I want
Is for you to come to ruin
Ohh, All that I want
Is for you to come crawling back
This, is the end of us
And everything you said we'd be
And, all the love I bring
I will be taking home with you
I do not want
For you to be happy
I do not want
For you to be happy
All that I want
Is for you to come crawling back
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