I edited the previous post. In one of our sisterly shower talks, both my sisters said it was dumb to put some things on your blog, dumber to name names. (I suppose this applies, even and more so, if they were the truest moments of truth)

So I'm to have secrets, even from you, my virtual reality log book and very possible more encrypted journal-ing as opposed to blatant open truth. I'm getting remotely better with the flu, sore throat, cough, and bits of fever. My theory of practice, this time round is to ditch the doctors and take enough panadol and strepsil till my immunity system kicks in with a battle-wining antibody stream. It sounds more healthy in theory, so I'm testing it out.

But above the dizziness and OD-ing of panadol and strepsil, I'm definitely more clear-headed now. Three days of school, and the dust have finally settled in its place(whether I like the arrangement or not). And with Joanna's help, I actually re-found my focus again - to realise that my ultimate aim was the result not the people. And if the experience was good, that's bonus, but that's not to be expected. Though, I am making honest efforts to at least try(though not very hard) and be sociable -to talk to people at least. (I added my classmates on facebook, that should mean something) I will eventually need to leave my protective armour of wheezes and whopping coughs behind, to actually listen and participate in conversation - I can't be sick forever. (Oops, I just found the cause of my procrastination of seeing the doctor, the unwillingness to lose my excuse for not talking and answering people... )

Yups, and I'm getting through my NOW habit book, which proves itself to be an excellent book of insight. I'm even dutifully logging down my every moment and thoughts of procrastination, as the book instructs. It better work, I will need it to.

It's time to test my limits and abilities, rather give excuses and believe hearsay about my true potential. So this semester hopefully, I'll get a good honest measure from my (for the first time) not last-minute work.

The clouds are dispersing, and there's more light now, on how I should go ahead with the rest of the week or so. With my healthy dose of gossip and drama back, I'm definitely more grounded. (I'm thankful, the drama exists in TV or my macbook though) I've also ended my brief but resolute quarrel/ fight with Tongtong in mutual agreement(which he always breaches) of better co-existence(i.e. to end our abusive relationship for a normal mutually respecting one).

Some things are getting done and settled, which is about time, since the week is gone by half. But, I still need to get to the un-encouraging huge load of research, at least for the projects due on wk 7. A trip to the library is due, I guess(my books, though have long been due). And there's social arrangements to be made, as promised. So the term is just getting started, and hopefully so am I.

Sometime again, jeanie